The comic, bastion of white van men across the UK and Spain, is set to be pensioned off as its editor can’t think up any more rubbish.
A close confidante of owner Rupert Murdoch told us
“They just can’t keep to the standard. Years of revealing soap and drama plots, living up to the plot of a James Bond movie, following Billie Piper, the Royals and Skeletor have started to take their toll.”
It seems editor Rebekah Madely and senior staff have hatched a plan to make the last issue – Friday June 1st – the greatest yet, with the following insane stories:
- England Manager Steve McClaren to remain coach for next 10 years
- Wayne Rooney to appear as a SONTARAN in series 8 of Doctor Who
- War on Terror admitted to be a HOAX as US forces hire terrorists to fight for them on Iranian soil
- Nadine from Knaresborough has 3 breasts, ALL OF THEM 36DD!
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