Tamm-tastic 2

Oh yesh, if there was som sort of duel for the top rated Doctor Who actress, it would be settled with a jelly fight between the two finalists, Mary Tamm and Nicola Bryant.

Bonkers fantasies aside, Mary Tamm is a smashing looking (Time) ladyand I for one am looking forward to the upcoming Key To Time season boxset, which features commentaries from Ms Tamm and he costar (some bloke called Tom).

She's had a varied and diverse career, surprisingly successful compared to most Doctor Who actresses, and of course she still looks fantastic. And she's got huge following among straight Doctor Who fans (there's more of us you know, we're just not as noisy as the other lot), headed by Kasterborous' own Anthony Dry, who even has a Mary Tamm tattoo!

Oh and visit www.marytamm.com, you know you want to.

Sarah Who

So - a result of the Time War was that the Doctor was left without any other Time Lords to talk to other than the Master, the Daleks somehow survived (three cases so far) and Sarah Jane Smith (or Sarah as we used to call her, regardless of her Sunday name) turned into a female version of the Doctor.

Sarah Jane Adventures is with us from Monday 24th September, and it's interesting to see how the series is being marketed. First off, let's look at the obvious bit - Lis Sladen returns to play Sarah Jane Smith, who has gone from companion of days of yore to a female microcipher of the Doctor. How has this happened? Why does she need a "Sonic Lipstick"?

Then we've got "Mr Smith" the battle computer which plays such a part in the BBC's Sarah Jane Adventures website. That must have been like a dream come true at first for the website designers, until they realised that the site would have to be redesigned as a web based Mr Smith is just too unwieldy.

SJA is part of the CBBC imprint of BBC One, which also has it's own channel, so don't expect to miss any of it - although the CBBC budget may well begin to tell by episode 3.

Of course, placing the Slitheen into their rightful home is a masterstroke by Gareth Roberts and RTD, who seems to be having better luck in measuring the tone of this series than he did Serioes 1 of Doctor Who.

Try to ignore the fact that a 57 year old lady playing what is basically a female version of the Doctor completely laughs in the face of Davies' assertion that an over 40 male couldn't lead Doctor Who in this day and age...

The Doctor's Rocket

Since Doctor Who returned, it has been repeatedly suggested that he had a "thing" for Rose Tyler.

Without stepping on the toes of the chaps who debunked the asexual nature of the Doctor following the TVM, the Time Lord has ben a long term fan of nookie.

Exhibit A - his granddaughter, Susan
Exhibit B - his reaction at Jo Grant leavinghim for a "younger version". She'd hardly be so hot for Clifford if the Doctor had no idea how to set himself to vibrate, would she?
Exhibit C - Sarah Jane Smith and the Fouth Doctor were best friends - but she would hardly have hung about on busy busy Earth for 3 decades if he wasn't givn her regular tours of his fluid links.
Exhibit D - Romana II and the Fourth Doctor were clearly at it, as evidenced in Warriors Gate, and going all the way back to City of Death.
Exhibit E - we jump forward to the Eighth Doctor, the dashing, girly poet looking one who just wanted that pretty blonde Doctor to hold his hand. And his neutron ram.

Rose wasn't the first, and she won"t be the last...

The 11th Doctor

It's that time of year again - guess the 11th Doctor!

With no confirmation of David Tennant appearing in Series 5 coming from the BBC, the press have been tossing names around.

But what do they know? That's right! Nothing!

We on the other hand are a Doctor Who website so we can answer all of the important questions - and this is one of he biggest. So hold on to your hats for our Top 10 choices for the 11th Doctor...

10. Roland Rat - already has a trademark pink Ford Anglia, his catchphrase "Yeaaaahhh!" would be preferable to "That's IMPOSSIBLE!"

9. Edward Scissorhands - early screen tests revealed that the stainless steel fingered one had difficulty with the TARDIS door, the TARDIS controls, the sonic screwdriver...

8. Lis Sladen - appears to be playing a female Doctor in Sarah Jane Adventures...

7. Paul Daniels - only joking.

6. David Beckham - his posh sidekick would be a major diversion for a companion since... well, Rose.

5. Jeremy Vine - the BBC news man would be excellent in the TARDIS, with his strong opinions and complete lack of technical nuance the time machine could end up anywhere

4. Tony Blair - unfortunately, the former PM has a date with history/destiny/bible prophecy, and is thus too busy.

3. Benny Hill - sadly now deceased, if ever there was a time for more naked lady flesh in the TARDIS, it was now. That closing titles speeded-up chase around the TARDIS console would be the highlight of the week.

2. Jon Bon Jovi - the gobsh*ting rock singer with the crap hair, I don't know why the two-faced, lying little nob is in this list. Bed of Roses my arse - you take girls firmly up the rear.

1. Sean Connery - the former James Bond has already played an immortal in Highlander, and his aging take on the ancient Time Lord would be the stuff of legends.

So there you have it. Sean Connery for Doctor Who!

Well we got our wish...

That's right, the BBC have finally come clean and although I'm desperately unhappy about 2009, at the moment it isn't disastrous.

However how fans can claim to be "happy" is beyond the pale. 10 episodes short in 2009 and you claim to be satisfied. What the hell is wrong with you people?

It's nothing to be happy about. Having the show back from the abyss is great, sure, but that doesn't mean Russell T Davies and the BBC are necessarily serving us and Doctor Who well. The very notion of reducing the series to 3 specials in 2009 is ridiculous. It places the subsequent series in jeopardy before scripts are even written.

So have a bloody word with yourselves. Wake up and smell the coffee, open your eyes and stop living in the insane, blinkered world where TV execs are gods and you are their blind followers.

The world doesn't work like that, it works on a foundation of power and money, and with three episodes of Doctor Who in 2009, how is a high media profile going to drive merchandise sales?

If no one is buying the toys, then the core audience has evidently stopped watching - do we want that?

I suspect it is too late to ask for a rethink, but I can at least ask all you half-full fans who insansely label this as "good news" to actually try thinking about it, what the news actually means and be honest with yourselves instead of pretending it is A Good Thing.

It is A Bad Thing.

Rusl? I that you?

As you might have seen in the news section, we've found a letter in an old copy of DWM that appears to have been written by Russell T Davies back in 1981. He signs it "Rusl Davies, Glamorgan" - evidently a shortform or Welsh spelling of the name.

So in effect Russell T Davies uses a pseudonym - as we know the T is made up to distinguish him from the radio presenter Russell davies - but how many other Doctor Who personalities over the years have used nom de plumes?

Most obvious would be current Doctor David Tennant, who is of course really called David McDonald, and Fifth Doctr Peter Davison, known to his family as Peter Moffett.

Conversely, Lalla Ward (Romana II) was of course a Lady, and used her family name rather than title on stage and televsion.

And of course my real name is Bigby Marilyn...